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Alright, not al all Sun Oct 17th, 2010

The weight I’ve perceived..my angst in thought my babbling head ..the plague of reference.
Shaking the mud from the inside out… but this dirt doesn’t come off.
Could I parade the onslaught of children (INSIDE HERE) { Points at the head,} they carry dandelions and ferns in hand on their way to the river.
the babes are in song, yes these little girls and boys are smoking cigarettes, crushing, and cussing up a storm.

It’s a miracle I’m with you here at all
I guess they didn’t get out in time, and they have turned on me…….
The knowledge I drink, from this dirty cup of frozen hostile words, and forced smiles, still echos a Bearing of likeness to sweetness and yearning.. to be me again, whoever I am.

It only takes one occurrence and in my case several, to burden the heart to extents where those children run through-out .. and the laughter becomes a jeer or a brow’s beat.

The seeming cavalcade of bodies passing, chewing unripe fruit. they are still racing, believing to be impervious to where they now preside onward from. entrenched in memories in the confines of my mentality;
where arranged as installations they take on specific shapes. I hear the, “Oh the Ahh,” the doubters, the portrayers, the insistent and resistant. The display of the last pure kiss from my true love. the things that we do with the knowledge of loss.
all the bitterness which begins as hope, and can’t release in time.
There is only one adult, and she is the sitter inside of me. she counts up the kids and makes sure all of them are accounted for, and she is just trying to keep it all together if you know what I mean. She does so enjoy directing the children around my love’s display. though it makes me weak, I must say it is the only comfort these days. This is the thought that makes it all right and not at all

NAR  3/29/07